This is my original creepy cansta about a can named shize jaffa orange DO NOT STEAL THIS MEANS YOU !!!
Jaffa Orange and his family had just moved into a new vending machine. His dad that gotten a new promotion at work at the shize factory and they thought it would be best to live in one of those ‘fancy’ vending machines with the digital displays. Jaffa and his brother SHIZE LIGHT couldnt complain though, a new better vending machine. What was not to love? As they were getting Unpacked, one of their neighbouring cans, SHIZE CHERRY POP cane by.
“HELLO.” She said, ” My name is cherry pop and I live in this vending machine too a couple of shelves down from your shelf. Well, I just wanted to introduce my self and to introduce my son.” She turned around and calls her son over. “SHIZE JELLYBEAN , these are our new neighbors.” Jellybean grunted hi and ran back to play in his yard.
“Well,” said Jaffa’s mom, “I’m Shize Margerine [[(( This is my other original flavour do not steal ))[[, and this is my husband SHIZE CREAM TEA, and my two sons, Jaffaf and Light.” They each introduced themselves, and then Cherry pop invited them to her son’s birthday party. Jaffa and his brother were about to object when their mother shize cherry pop said that they would love to. When Jaffa and his family are done packing, Jaffa went up to his mom.
“Mom, why would you invite us to some kid’s party? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not some dumb 150ml kid, I’ma tall boy.”
“Jaffa Orange,” said his mother, “We just moved here; we should show that we want to spend time with our neighbors. Now, we’re going to that party, and that’s FINAL” Jaffa started to talk, but stopped himself, knowing that he couldn’t do anything because his morher was a very stern can. Whenever his mom shize margerine said something, it was final. He walked up to his room in the vending machine and plopped down on his bed. He sat there looking at his ceiling when suddenly, he got a weird fizzing. Not so much pain, but… a weird fizzing. He dismissed it as just some random fizzing. He heard his mother call him down to get his stuff, and he walked down to get it.
The next day, Jaffa walked downstairs to get breakfast and got ready for a long day of lessons at the Shize school. As he sat there, eating his breakfast, he once again got that fizzing. This time it was stronger. It gave him a slight bubbly pain, but he once again dismissed it. As he and Light finished breakfast, they walked down to the bus stop. They sat there waiting for the bus, and then, all of a sudden, some can ON A SKATEBOARD jumped over them, only INCHES above their laps!! They both jumped back in surprise. “Hey, what the Shize?”
The can landed and turned back to them. He kicked his skateboard up and caught it with his hands. The kid seems to be about twelve; one year younger than Jaffa. He wears an black shirtwith a PALM TREE on it and ripped blue jeans.
“Well, well, well. It looks like we got some new drinks.” Suddenly, two other kids appeared. One was super skinny and the other was huge. “Well, since you’re new here, I’d like to introduce ourselves, over there is SHIZE RUST” Jaffa and Light looked over to the rusty can. He had a dirty face that you would expect a sidekick to have and lots of piercings in his ears. “And he’s SHIZE CHEEKY BIT O PUD” They looked over at the fat kid. Talk about a can of lard. This kid looked like he hadn’t exercised since he was crawling.
“And I,” said the first kcan, “am SHIZE TROPICAL STORM. Now, for all the cans in this vending machine, there is a small price for bus fare, if you catch my drift.” Light stood up, ready to punch the lights( haHA GET IT) out of the can’s eyes when one of his friends pulled a knife on him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be more cooperative, but it seems we must do this the hard way.” The kid walked up to Liught and took his wallet out of his pocket. Jaffaf got that fizzing again. Now, it was truly strong; a bubbling sensation. He stood up, but Light gestured him to sit down. Jaffa ignored him and walked up to the can.
“Listen here you little punk, give back my bro’s wallet or else.” Tropical Storm put the wallet in his pocket and pulled out his own knife.
“Oh? And what will you do?” Just as he finished the sentence, Jaffa popped the can in the nose. As Tropical Storm reached for his face, Jaffa grabbed the can’s wrist and broke it. Tropicl Storm screamed and Jaffa grabbed the knife from his hand. Rust and Cheeky bit o put rushed Jaffa, but Jaffa was too quick. He threw Tropiclla Storm to the ground. Rust lashed out at him, but Jaffa ducked and stabbed him in the aluminium. Rust dropped his knife and fell to the ground SCREAMING. Cheeky bit ofPud rushed him too, but Jaffa didn’t even need the knife. He just punched that fat pud straight in the ringpull and cheeky bit of pud went down. As he fell, he puked soda all over. Light could do nothing but look in amazement at Jaffa
“Jaffa how’d you?” was all he said. They saw the bus coming and knew they’d be blamed for the whole thing. So they started running as fast as they could. As they ran, they looked back and saw the bus driver rushing over to Tropical Storm and the others. As Jaffa and Light made it to school, they didn’t dare tell what happened. All they did was sit and listen. Light just thought of that as his brother beating up a few cans, but Jaffa Orange knew it was more. It was something, scary. As he got that fizzing he felt how powerful it was, the urge to just, hurt some can. He didn’t like how it sounded, but he couldn’t help feeling happy. He felt that strange fizzing go away, and stay away for the entire day of school. Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop, and how now he probably wouldn’t be taking the bus anymore, he fizzed happily. When he got home his parents asked him how his day was, and he said, in a somewhat ominous voice, “It was a wonderful day.” Next morning, he heard a knock at his front door. He walked down to find two police cans at the door, his mother looking back at him with an fizzy look.
“Jaffa, these officers tell me that you attacked three cans. That it wasn’t regular fighting, and that they were stabbed. Stabbed, son!” Jaffa’s gaze fell to the floor, showing his mother that it was true.
“Mom, they were the ones who pulled the knives on me and Light.”
“Son,” said one of the cops,” We found three cans, two stabbed, one having a bruise on his ringpull, and we have witnesses proving that you fled the scene. Now, what does that tell us?” Shize Jaffa Orange knew it was no use. He could say him and Light had been attacked, but then there was no proof it was not them who attacked first. They couldn’t say that they weren’t fleeing, because truth be told they were. So Jaffa couldn’t defend himself or Light.
“Son, call down your brother.” Jaffa couldn’t do it since it was he who beat up all the cans.
“Sir, it…it was me. I was the one who beat up the cans. Light tried to hold me back, but he couldn’t stop me.” The cop looked at his partner and they both nod.
“Well, can, looks like a year in juvie…”
“Wait!” says Light. They all looked up to see him holding a knife. The officers pulled their guns and locked them on Light.
“It was me, I beat up those little punks. Have the marks to prove it.” He lifted up his sleeves to reveal cuts and bruises, as if he was in a struggle.
“Son, just put the knife down,” said the officer. Light held up the knife and dropped it to the ground. He put his hands up and walked over to the cops.
“No, Light, it was me! I did it!” Jaffa Orange had tears running down his aluminium face.
“Huh, poor bro. Trying to take the blame for what I did. Well, take me away.” The police led Light out to the patrol can.
“Light, tell them it was me! Tell them! I was the one who beat up those cans!” Jaffa’s mother Shize Margerine put her hands on his shoulders.
“Jaffa please, you don’t have to lie. We know it’s Light, you can stop.” Jaffa watched helplessly as the cop can speeds off with Light inside. A few minutes later Jaffa’s dad pulled into the driveway outside the vending machine where they lived now, seeing Jaffa’s face and knowing something was wrong.
“Son, son what is it?” Jaffa couldn’t answer. His vocal cords were strained from crying. Instead, Jaffa’s mother walked his father inside to break the bad news to him as Jaffa wept in the driveway. After an hour or so Shize Jaffa Orange walked back into the vending machine, seeing that his parents were both shocked, sad, and disappointed. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t see how they thought of Liught when it was his fault. He just went to sleep, trying to get the whole thing off his mind. Two days went by, with no word from Light at JDC. No friends to hang out with. Nothing but sadness and guilt. That is until Saturday, when Jaffa is woken up by his mother, with a happy, shizeshiny face.
“Jaffa, it’s the day,” she said as she opened up the curtains and let light flood into his room.
“What? What’s today?” asked Jaffa as he stirs awake.
“Why, it’s Jellybeans party!!11.” He was now fully awake.
“Mom, you’re joking, right? You don’t expect me to go to some can’s party after…” There was a long pause.
“Jaffa, we both know what happened. I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days. Now, get dressed.” Jaffa’s mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and pair of jeans and walked downstairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up; his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why they would ever wear such fancy clothes to a can’s party?
“Son, is that all your going to wear?” said Jaffa’s mom.
“Better than wearing too much,” he said. His mother pushed down the feeling to yell at him and hid it with a smile.
“Now Jaffa Orange, we may be over-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression.” said his father. Jaffa grunted and went back up to his room.
“I don’t have any fancy clothes!” he yelled downstairs.
“Just pick out something.” called his mother. He looked around in his closet for what he would call fancy. He found a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and an undershirt. He couldn’t find a shirt to go with it though. He looked around and found only striped and patterned shirts. None of which go with dress pants. Finally, he found a white hoodie and put it on.
“You’re wearing that?” they both said. His mother looked at her watch. “Oh, no time to change. Let’s just go.” She said as she herded Jaffa and his father out the door. They crossed the street over to Cherry Pop and Jellybean’s house. They knocked on the door and at it appeared that Cherry Pop, just like his parents, way over-dressed. As they walked inside all Jaffa could see were 330ml cans, no small cans.
“The small cans are out in the yard. Shize Jaffa Onrage, how about you go and meet some of them?” said Cherry Pop.
Jaffa walked outside to a yard full of small cans. They were running around in weird Shize Sunset Molasses costumes and shooting each other with plastic guns. He might as well be standing in a Toys R Us. Suddenly a small can came up to him and handed him a toy gun and hat.
“Hey. Wanna pway?” he said.
“Ah, no kid. I’m way too old for this stuff.” The small can looked at him with that weird puppy-can face.
“Pwease?” said the small can. “Fine,” said Jeff. He put on the hat and started to pretend shoot at the small cans. At first, he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of his brother Shize Light. So he played with the small cans for a while, until he heard a noise. A weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Shize Tropical Storm, Cheeky bit o Pud, and Rust all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. It was really awesome and they did a kick flip and an olly and everybody was really jealous. Jaffa dropped the fake gun and ripped off the hat. Tropical Storm looked at Jaffa with a bubbling hatred.
“Hello, Jaffa Orange, is it?” he said. “We have some unfinished business.” Jaffa saw his bruised nose.” I think we’re even. I beat the crap out of you, and you get my brother sent to JDC.”
Tropical Storm got an angry look in his eyes. “Oh no, I don’t go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our ringpulls that one day, but not today.” As he said that Tropical Storm rushed at Jaffa. They both fell to the ground. Tropical Storm punched Jaffa in the ringpull, and Jaffa grabbed him by the rim and head-butted him. Jaffa pushed Tropical Storm off of him and both rose to their feet. Small cans were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Rust and cheeky bit o pud both pulled guns out of their pockets.
“No one interrupts or fizz will fly!” they said. Tropical Storm pulled a knife on Jaffa and stabbed it into his aluminium.
Jaffa screamed and fell to his knees. Tropical Storm started kicking him in the ringpull. After three kicks Jaffa grabs his foot and twists it, causing Tropical Storm to fall to the ground. Jaffa stood up and walked towards the back door. Shize Rust grabbed him.
“Need some help?” He picks Jaffa up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jaffaf tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Tropical Storm repeatedly starts kicking Jaffa, until he starts to fizz up syrup.
“Come on Jaffa Orange, fight me!” He picks Jaffa up and throws him into the kitchen. Shize Tropical Storm sees a can of Shize Liquorliscious on the counter and smashes the can over Jaffa’s head.
“Fight!” He throws Jaffa back into the living room.
“Come on Jaffa, look at me!” Jaffa glances up, his ringpull riddled with fizz. “I was the one who got your brother sent to JDC! And now you’re just gonna sit here and let him rot in there for a whole year! You should be ashamed!” Jaffa starts to get up.
“Oh, finally! you stand and fight!” Jaffa is now to his feet, fizzy syrupy froth and Shize Liquorliscious on his face. Once again he gets that strange fizzing, the one in which he hasn’t fizzed for a while. “Finally. He’s up!” says Tropical Storm as he runs at Jaffa. That’s when it happens. Some fizz inside Jaffa snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do is KILL. He grabs Tropical Storm and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the Ringpull. The punch causes Tropical Storm’s fizz to stop. As Tropical Storm gasps for breath. Jaffa hammers down on him. Punch after punch, syrupey fizz gushes from Tropical Storm’s opening, until he spills one final drop, and dies.
Everyone is looking at Jaffa now. The parents, the crying small cans, even Rust and Pud. Although they easily break from their gaze and point their guns at Jaffa. Jaffa sees the guns trained on him and runs for the stairs. As he runs Rust and Pud let out fire on him, each shot missing. Jaffa runs up the stairs. He hears Rust and Pud follow up behind. As they let out their final rounds of bullets Jaffa ducks into the bathroom. He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Rust and Pud race in, knives ready.
Rust swings his knife at Jaffa, who backs away and bangs the towel rack into Rust’s ringpull. Rust goes down hard and now all that’s left is Cheeky bit o Pud. He is more agile than Rust though, and ducks when Jaffa swings the towel rack. He dropped the knife and grabbed Jaffa by the nrim. He pushed him into the wall. A thing of bleach fell down on top of him from the top shelf. It burnt both of them and they both started to scream. Jaffa wiped his ringpull as best as he could. He pulled back the towel rack and swung it straight into Pud’s head. As he lay there, fizzing to death, he let out an ominous smile.
“What’s so funny?” asked Shize Jaffa Orange shize cheeky bit o Pud pulled out a lighter and switched it on. “What’s funny,” he said, “Is that you’re covered in bleach and Shize Liquorliscious” Jaffa’s eyes widened as Pud threw the lighter at him. As soon as the flame made contact with him, the flames ignited the canbrosia in the Liquoliscious. While the fire burned him, the bleach bleached his skin. Jaffa let out a terrible screech as he caught on fire. He tried to roll out the fire but it was no use, the canbrosia had made him a walking inferno. He ran down the hall and fell down the stairs. Everybody started screaming as they saw Jaffa, now a can on fire, drop to the ground, nearly dead. The last thing Jaffa saw was his mother and the other parents trying to extinguish the flame. That’s when he passed out.
When Jaffa woke he had a cast wrapped around the top half of his can. He couldn’t see anything, but he felt a cast on his ringpull, and stitches all over his aluminium. He tried to stand up, but he realized that there was some tube in his arm, and when he tried to get up it fell out, and a nurse ((( Shize FRENCH VAINLLA )) (( She works in a hospital AS A MAID but also part time as a NURSE ))rushed in.
“I don’t think you can get out of bed just yet mon amis,” Shize French vanilla said in a sexy way as she put him back in his bed and kissed him on the forehead. Jaffa sat there, with no vision, no idea of what his surroundings were. Finally, after hours, he heard his mother.
“Honey, are you okay?” she asked. Jaffa couldn’t answer though, his face was covered, and he was unable to speak. “Oh honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Tropical Storm confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let your brother Shize Light go.” This made Jaffa almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering the tube coming out of his arm. “He’ll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again.”
Jaffa’s mother hugs Jaffa and says her goodbyes. The next couple of weeks were those where Jaffa was visited by his family. Then came the day where his bandages were to be removed. His family members were all there to see it, what he would look like. As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Jaffa’s face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.
“Let’s hope for the best,” said the doctor, jOHN SHIZE III. He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Jaffa’s face.
Jaffa’s mother screams at the sight of his face. Light and Jaffas dad stare awe-struck at his label.
“What? What happened to my label?” shize Jaffa orange said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His label. It…it’s horrible. His logo were burnt to a deep shade of red. His aluminium was turned into a pure white color, and his ringpull singed from its shiny metal color to black. He slowly put his hand to his aluminium. It had a sort of leathery feel to it now. He looked back at his family then back at the mirror.
“Jaffa,” said Light, “It’s not that bad….”
“Not that bad?” said Jaffa,” It’s perfect!” His family was equally surprised. Jaffa started laughing uncontrollably His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching.
“Uh… Jaffa, are you okay?”
“Okay? I’ve never felt more happy! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaa, look at me! This face goes perfectly with me!” He couldn’t stop laughing. He stroked his face feeling it. Looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jaffa was fighting Shize Tropical Storm something in his fizz, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a fizzy killing machine, that is, his parents didn’t know.
“John Shize III” said Jaffa’s mom, “Is my son… alright, you know. In the fizz?”
“Oh yes, this behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of pain killers. If his behavior doesn’t change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we’ll give him a psychological test.”
“Oh, thank you, John Shize III” Jaffa’s mother went over to Jaffa. “Jaffa, sweetie, it’s time to go.”
Jaffa looks away from the mirror, his smile bead formed into a crazy smile. “Kay mommy, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaa!” his mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes.
“This is what came in,” said the can at the desk, SHIZE TIRAMISU, Who was wearing some sexy lingere and also thought that Jaffa looked totally hot and badass now but she didnt say anything because she was a professional. Jaffa’s mom looked down to see the black dress pants and white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and now stitched together by Shize French Vanilla who is very good at fixing and mending things. Jeff’s mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their expiration date.
Later that night, Jaffa’s mother woke to a sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded as if someone was fizzing. She slowly walked over to see what it was. When she looked into the bathroom she saw a horrendous sight. Jaffa had taken a knife and carved a smile into his aluminium.
“JAFFA ORRANGE!!!!!! what are you doing?” asked his mother.
Jaffa looked over to his mother. “I couldn’t keep smiling, mommy. It hurt after awhile. Now I can smile forever.” Jaffa’s mother noticed his ringpull, ringed in black.
“Jaffa, your ringpull!” His Ringpull was seemingly never closing.
“I couldn’t see my fizz. I got tired and my ringpull started to close. I burned out the lid so I could forever see myself; my new fizz.” Jaffas mother slowly started to back away, seeing that her son was going insane. “What’s wrong mommy? Aren’t I beautiful?
“Yes son,” she said, “Yes you are. L-let me go get daddy, so he can see your fizz.” She ran into the room and shook Jaffas dad from his sleep. “Honey, get the gun we…..” She stopped as she saw Jaffa in the doorway, holding a knife.
“Mommy, you lied.” That’s the last thing they hear as Shize Jaffa orange rushes them with the knife, stabbing both of them with it and spilling their soda everywhere all over the carpet and leaving a big stain.
His brother Shize Light woke up, startled by some noise. He didn’t hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. As he was on the border of slumber, he got the strangest fizzing that someone was watching him. He looked up, before Jaffa’s hand covered his mouth. He slowly raised the knife ready to plunge it into Shize Light. Shize Light thrashed here and there trying to escape Jaffas’s grip.
“Hissssssss,” Jaffa fizzed. “Just go to sleep.”
Credit for the Jeff the Killer character: Sesseur (DeviantArt) (( My version is better though PLEASE RATE AND UPVOTE )))
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